Reading was seen as an isolating or social avoidance activity. I suppose in some ways it is because reading is the perfect way to escape, figuratively speaking. Yet no one seemed to understand why I did it. Books never talked over me. Books never judged me. Books allowed me to stop and think in my own time. And with books, I always knew that the drama wasn’t real or personal. When the emotional feedback became too much, I could easily read a book and feel the stress melt away. To me, reading was a buffer away from the ever-escalating chaos that permeated our family gatherings. How do we achieve this without (or in spite) of the mocking from others? Fortunately, as society becomes more understanding and supportive of neurodiversity, it is becoming easier to use our favourite coping mechanisms, such as reading at family gatherings. They are, after all, one of the most emotionally charged events you will attend throughout the year. Not every family understands the need for breathing space, but I have picked up a few tried and true tips that help shield me from the most exuberant affairs More good news: you can read in plain sight. For example: It’s time for the family to sit down and watch sportsball on the television. Grab one of the single-seat chairs nearby and pull out your book. You can still be in the action, but it’s a scenario that requires less of your direct interaction. Travelling to and from family events can be a great time for the full-depth immersion into a fantasy world, but honestly? If you are reading around family, choose a book easy to lift your head out of once in a while (you can find a few suggestions here). Using your book as a shield is okay in small doses. Save the hefty tomes for when you have a bit more privacy. This one can be a little hit-and-miss with success. If someone points out you are reading, invite them to talk about the book. Start with a quick intro: “Oh, this? Yeah, I read about it on Book Riot, and I’m really into cozy mysteries right now.” Fairly good chance they’ll ask what a cozy mystery is, and you have successfully created a conversation you have control over! Plus, when they lose interest, they are likely to leave you alone to read again. Speaking of short bytes of reading (pun intended), it is absolutely okay to grab a small respite reading on your smartphone or tablet. Just remember: No Reading at the Table. Step away from the table and find a nook. Our teenage son loves to read scientific journal articles on his phone. He then throws us random bits of information as small chat. I recently learnt about water cavitation creating pressure bubbles that can cause pain in dolphins at high speeds because of their skin sensitivity. Or something like that (he’ll correct me later). This comes back to the small chat point above, and you don’t have to make it about marine biology. Cozy mysteries are as good and probably less niche. — You may not need a book for every family gathering, but sometimes its simple presence in your bag is enough to give you a sense of calm. For many of us, reading is insulation rather than isolation. We already know reading is great for supporting positive mental health (read more about it here). Don’t be afraid to use reading wherever and whenever you feel the need.
